Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
