Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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