just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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