And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
