Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
