So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
