some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What drink are we having for lunch?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
