i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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