also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
