google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
