consequently i now know what mace tastes like
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize