I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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