haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's never too late to be topless.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
