Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
