Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
try to milk me bitch
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