she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
