Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
