i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize