I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
