So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
