youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Never underestimate the power of titties
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
