i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
