so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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