We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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