an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
