"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
