I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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