Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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