It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
