So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
