A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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