I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
