i need an iv and a liver transplant
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
