btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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