all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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