wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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