So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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