I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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