Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
