Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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