I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want to be your penis for a week.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
