Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
