Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
