i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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