i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
