She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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