my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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