I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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