You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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