Can i not drive my cunt home
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
