my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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