spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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