yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
