my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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