...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
