It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
