I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize