we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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