Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
