it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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