Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it glows. i had to have it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
