unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
