He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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