so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
